Shoe Sleuth T-Shirts

'Oh sure, my shoe goes missing and all of a sudden Grayson makes the transcendent stew... I demand justice!'

'Dog got your clog?'

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

Elusive Shadow.

"A conundrum, rather than an outright mess, I think, Mrs Ellis..."

Those missing socks...where do they go?

The Complete Cycle.

'Excellent sir! Your signature is now completely illegible.'

"It's two sizes too big, but it fits."

'Good! And now - by simply shifting your weight - begin to carve a wide, slow turn across the slope.'

'You must have something in my size?'

Laundromat: Bulletin Board - Have you seen this sock?

'You've been hanging out at the bowling alley again, haven't you?'

'Tonight the remains of Jimmy Hoffa have finally been discovered with what appears to be millions upon millions of unpaired socks.'

Invasive species reach Ken's sock drawer.

'Millers said they travelled through Europe? Nonsense! All of their souvenirs have little tags reading 'Made in China'!'

"Good news, Grossman. As of today, short sleeves are O.K. around the office."

'Sure, I can reprogram your microchip if you want to change your identity...'

'- but I didn't think it meant a two-made-into one-suit, dammit!'

"Eric is fitting GPS tracking tags to his socks in a bid to learn more about their migratory habits."

"Actually those missing four yeas I was working here under a different name."

'It's a surveillance camera. Now, I'll finally be able to find out how all the socks keep disappearing.'

Unusual Sports: Shooting Skiers

'Do you have any idea how many dryer related cases we get around here?!'

"Most people don't seem to know this, but if this button is used incorrectly it will cause socks to disappear."

Missing socks squad.

"I'll need a sticker per sock."

"I bought it online...I guess size 2 is different in Europe."

"Do you have this blouse in XXXXXXXXXL?"

"...between a medium and a large - I like to call it 'Marge'."