Shoe Sleuth Pillows

'Oh sure, my shoe goes missing and all of a sudden Grayson makes the transcendent stew... I demand justice!'

'Dog got your clog?'

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

Elusive Shadow.

"A conundrum, rather than an outright mess, I think, Mrs Ellis..."

Those missing socks...where do they go?

The Complete Cycle.

'Excellent sir! Your signature is now completely illegible.'

"It's two sizes too big, but it fits."

'Good! And now - by simply shifting your weight - begin to carve a wide, slow turn across the slope.'

'You must have something in my size?'

Laundromat: Bulletin Board - Have you seen this sock?

'Millers said they travelled through Europe? Nonsense! All of their souvenirs have little tags reading 'Made in China'!'

'You've been hanging out at the bowling alley again, haven't you?'

"Psst. . . fancy shoe sales are down. Can you make Crocs instead?"

Invasive species reach Ken's sock drawer.

'Sure, I can reprogram your microchip if you want to change your identity...'

'Tonight the remains of Jimmy Hoffa have finally been discovered with what appears to be millions upon millions of unpaired socks.'

"Good news, Grossman. As of today, short sleeves are O.K. around the office."

"Actually those missing four yeas I was working here under a different name."

'- but I didn't think it meant a two-made-into one-suit, dammit!'

'Sir, we need your passport, driver's license, and Facebook name!'

I didn't know there were so many gardeners. They aren't gardeners. Flower Show. He is. She isn't. She is. How can you tell? Look at their feet!

"Eric is fitting GPS tracking tags to his socks in a bid to learn more about their migratory habits."

'It's a surveillance camera. Now, I'll finally be able to find out how all the socks keep disappearing.'

'Do you have any idea how many dryer related cases we get around here?!'

Missing socks squad.

"Most people don't seem to know this, but if this button is used incorrectly it will cause socks to disappear."

I'm missing an eighth sock again.

"I'll need a sticker per sock."

"I bought it online...I guess size 2 is different in Europe."

"Do you have this blouse in XXXXXXXXXL?"