Street Sleuth T-Shirts

"What do you reckon - yard sale, illegal dump or eviction?"

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

$1: Family Secrets

Clickbait

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

The Modern Godot

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

'Dog got your clog?'

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

I CAME. I FOLLOWED. I COMMENTED. I SHARED.

What security flaw?

"If you look at Lexington Avenue, it is anyone's guess what's happening on the 6 train. Moving on to Broadway, I can tell you that the N and R Lines may or may not be running smoothly, while the Eighth Avenue A and C are, as always, a complete mystery."

I'm loving the phone hacking scandal. I love it when ne'er-do-wells use technology to steal personal information. Because you like when people suffer. No. Because I love it when technology is proven as evil. Spare me. Technology is not evil. People are evil. Computers don't hack people. People hack people. Macs hack, Macs hack! You watch your mouth, filthy human! Fight, fight …

'And what if I did doctor the documents? I'm a doctor.'

'Nice try buddy, but we know the score. You were involved, but you only played a small part. What we want to know is who orchestrated this thing.'

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

"I'm all for security, but you having an 80-factor authentication may be a little over the top."

New York City Santa with huge bag hails cab.

'These disks contain backups of all my financial records in 25 different software programs. . . I need to make a deposit to your computer.'

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'

"Good news, Grossman. As of today, short sleeves are O.K. around the office."

"I hear this place is a hotbed of international pancakes."

"I typed the incorrect password for my online banking so much that not only did they lock me out - they locked me up."

'It's okay, mom. I go through this every day at school.'

F.B.I. An equal opportunity phone tapper without regard to race, sex, or national origin.

Advanced Password Hint

"You have exceeded the maximum number of incorrect password attempts."

"Have you ever noticed how the eyes seem to follow you around the room?"

'Sure, I can reprogram your microchip if you want to change your identity...'

"...This one comes with the latest security devices...'