Secret Sleuth T-Shirts

$1: Family Secrets

'You're Steve from menswear. I read it on wikileaks.'

'I am the 'fly on the wall' you speak of. What would you like to know?'

ACME SCHOOL OF LIP READING, 'Before we begin, I'm required to warn you that there are things you're better off not knowing.'

Detective questions woman with body in hat.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Paranormal A-Z...

He looks so natural lying there...

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

Clickbait

He kept pretending he was going to work when he was just running errands.

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

'Is it one moo for yes two moos for no?'

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

The Modern Godot

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

"Do you see the one who possessed your soul?"

"Light at the end of the tunnel!"

The response of a spirit during a seance is in fact an annoyed neighbour.

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

Lost Property - Missing Head

'...and where did you bury the bone?'

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

"Hi everyone, thanks for channeling in to help me with my ancestry project."

What security flaw?

Scarecrow.

"...He appears to have stepped away from his body."

Two men converse secretively