Secretive Sleuth T-Shirts

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

C.V.-Mind your own business, "Welcome to the CIA."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

$1: Family Secrets

Clickbait

He kept pretending he was going to work when he was just running errands.

Experts through the ages.

'Is it one moo for yes two moos for no?'

The Modern Godot

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

Secret Service Dogs

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

"If I don't think it's going to work, will it still work?"

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

What security flaw?

Two men converse secretively

"I think they're beginning to suspect our science is fraudulent."

I'm loving the phone hacking scandal. I love it when ne'er-do-wells use technology to steal personal information. Because you like when people suffer. No. Because I love it when technology is proven as evil. Spare me. Technology is not evil. People are evil. Computers don't hack people. People hack people. Macs hack, Macs hack! You watch your mouth, filthy human! Fight, fight …

'And what if I did doctor the documents? I'm a doctor.'

'Nice try buddy, but we know the score. You were involved, but you only played a small part. What we want to know is who orchestrated this thing.'

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

"I'm all for security, but you having an 80-factor authentication may be a little over the top."

'Is there a doctor in the house we can trust?'

'I've only just learned to read, and I'm already on page twelve of my sister's diary.'

Catholic Priest Gay Mardi Gras

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'

'These disks contain backups of all my financial records in 25 different software programs. . . I need to make a deposit to your computer.'

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

'It's okay, mom. I go through this every day at school.'

Advanced Password Hint

"I typed the incorrect password for my online banking so much that not only did they lock me out - they locked me up."

"You have exceeded the maximum number of incorrect password attempts."