Secretive Sleuth T-Shirts

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

C.V.-Mind your own business, "Welcome to the CIA."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

$1: Family Secrets

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He kept pretending he was going to work when he was just running errands.

Experts through the ages.

'Is it one moo for yes two moos for no?'

The Modern Godot

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

Secret Service Dogs

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

"If I don't think it's going to work, will it still work?"

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

"I think they're beginning to suspect our science is fraudulent."

What security flaw?

Two men converse secretively

'And what if I did doctor the documents? I'm a doctor.'

'Nice try buddy, but we know the score. You were involved, but you only played a small part. What we want to know is who orchestrated this thing.'

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

'Is there a doctor in the house we can trust?'

"I'm all for security, but you having an 80-factor authentication may be a little over the top."

'I've only just learned to read, and I'm already on page twelve of my sister's diary.'

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'These disks contain backups of all my financial records in 25 different software programs. . . I need to make a deposit to your computer.'

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'

Advanced Password Hint

"You have exceeded the maximum number of incorrect password attempts."

"Have you ever noticed how the eyes seem to follow you around the room?"

"I typed the incorrect password for my online banking so much that not only did they lock me out - they locked me up."

'It's okay, mom. I go through this every day at school.'

I don't trust that guy.