Security Sleuth T-Shirts

'It's nothing personal, we just like to secure our intellectual property, each evening.'

"They're fake. Part of the new false sense of security system."

"...This one comes with the latest security devices...'

'And I think you'll be very impressed with the new network security system we just installed!'

Clickbait

'To help with our phishing and pharming issues, corporate lent two of their top security experts to us for this month.'

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

"I'm all for security, but you having an 80-factor authentication may be a little over the top."

'We'll never guess her password.'

Huffison never discovered the source of security leaks within his company.

Valley of the Forgotten Passwords.

Mouse CCTV.

'Don't you think that 2512 as your PIN is a bit predictable?'

'This is Mr Sly, our new temp. He'll help you sort that confidential list out.'

"The government's health care site has been hacked."

Internet Security Is So Good It's Even Safe From You

'With the help of this program...yes the wireless network password - I'm in!'

'These disks contain backups of all my financial records in 25 different software programs. . . I need to make a deposit to your computer.'

Edward Snowden

'It's okay, mom. I go through this every day at school.'

"Ed's job description has changed. He used to be a code-cracker. Now he's an encryption-disabler."

"What's your mother's maiden name?"

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

"I notice you often leave your password stuck on your computer with a sticky-note, Bob. Isn't that sort of risky?"

"It's the man who stole your identity, he's returning it."

"There's a velociraptor loose in the building. But first we need to address our computers being hacked."

"Freeze, or I'll mop the floor with you!"

"You have exceeded the maximum number of incorrect password attempts."

"Hi. I'm your local home watch representative. I'm just checking if you have any holiday plans."

What security flaw?

"29 Across is classified, too, sir. They're all classified."

'When the Secretary of the Navy signed off with, 'Long live the Ayatollah', I knew we had been hacked.'

'I see you need help. When was your identity stolen, sir?'

''Willie the Wizard' gets out next week -- get ready to change all the locks.'