System Sleuth T-Shirts

"We found the hacker who broke into our system - and now he's our director of security."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"Careful! He knows computers."

Cyb-R Safe: Offering the most convincing illusion of on-line security available today!

Clickbait

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

If at first you don't succeed call it version 1.0

Computer Crimes

"I've entered your PIN for you. "

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

The Modern Godot

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

Tiger discovers the online wildlife trade.

"Google gets thousands of requests each day to erase links. Most of them seem to go back to my website."

'It's something to do with a Microsoft copyright infringement.'

'Gimme all your cache!'

"...Software upgrade provides a seamless transition from simple functionality to multi-platform confusion, chaos and frustration..."

'Hey, somebody's been accessing MY email too!'

"I'm just sitting here collecting vast amounts of metadata. And what are you up to?...Oh, I already know."

"Your call may be monitored by the CIA, NSA, Russians, Chinese, space aliens..."

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

"Don't mind me, folks, I'm just here for regular system maintenance."

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

"I'm majoring in Communications with a minor in Leaking!"

"Remember when they used to call it the 'private sector?'"

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'