System Sleuth Pillows

"We found the hacker who broke into our system - and now he's our director of security."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"Careful! He knows computers."

Cyb-R Safe: Offering the most convincing illusion of on-line security available today!

Clickbait

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

If at first you don't succeed call it version 1.0

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

Computer Crimes

"I've entered your PIN for you. "

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

Tiger discovers the online wildlife trade.

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

The Modern Godot

'It's something to do with a Microsoft copyright infringement.'

'Gimme all your cache!'

'Hey, somebody's been accessing MY email too!'

"...Software upgrade provides a seamless transition from simple functionality to multi-platform confusion, chaos and frustration..."

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

"I'm just sitting here collecting vast amounts of metadata. And what are you up to?...Oh, I already know."

"Don't mind me, folks, I'm just here for regular system maintenance."

"Your call may be monitored by the CIA, NSA, Russians, Chinese, space aliens..."

"I'm majoring in Communications with a minor in Leaking!"

"Remember when they used to call it the 'private sector?'"

"I've memorized so many passwords, things are starting to get weird."

"Ed always wears a poker face. His specialty is password encryption at the NSA."

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'