Secret Bait Sleuth T-Shirts

"Remember, one way or another, this time we find out what mystery bait he's using for those record-breaking catches!"

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

$1: Family Secrets

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

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'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

'Is it one moo for yes two moos for no?'

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

The Modern Godot

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

"Light at the end of the tunnel!"

'All right, who hid the sandbox?'

"I know it's the right thing to do, but if we call the cops this sandbox will be tied up for weeks."

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

I'm loving the phone hacking scandal. I love it when ne'er-do-wells use technology to steal personal information. Because you like when people suffer. No. Because I love it when technology is proven as evil. Spare me. Technology is not evil. People are evil. Computers don't hack people. People hack people. Macs hack, Macs hack! You watch your mouth, filthy human! Fight, fight …

What security flaw?

Two men converse secretively

'And what if I did doctor the documents? I'm a doctor.'

'Nice try buddy, but we know the score. You were involved, but you only played a small part. What we want to know is who orchestrated this thing.'

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

"I'm all for security, but you having an 80-factor authentication may be a little over the top."

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"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

'These disks contain backups of all my financial records in 25 different software programs. . . I need to make a deposit to your computer.'

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'

"Chef keeps the secrets of his sauces close to his chest"

"Have you ever noticed how the eyes seem to follow you around the room?"

F.B.I. An equal opportunity phone tapper without regard to race, sex, or national origin.

"You have exceeded the maximum number of incorrect password attempts."