Sneaker Snatcher T-Shirts

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

Music downloads

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

Support Group for high heels abandoned during the pandemic

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

The ambush.

You shouldn't sell any chemical lawn products, dad! I only carry a few for the bottom line. You peddle poison for profits? The new sneakers you want aren't cheap, kiddo. Then I won't get the shoes. Ok, ok. I'll consider getting rid of the chemicals. Who knew reducing my carbon footprint meant going without shoes.

'It must be love if your sneakers melted!'

'We live in a designer trainer.'

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

'... And for $50 more, this is the same basketball shoe in a turbo model.'

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."

"They're the closest I've come to owning a car!"

Chocolate never tasted as good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.

Man says his pockets aren't big enough to fit a lady's tennis shoes.

'Bad news. Your arm is too injured to hold up those sneakers you endorse on TV.'

Cookie Thief

Ballet shoes balancing on a telephone wire

'Trainers for actually playing sport in.'

"I decided to go on land after I got the sneaker deal."

'It must be love if your sneakers melted!'

'Shall I box up the shoes, or does your son want to fly them home?'

'You've been hanging out at the bowling alley again, haven't you?'

I add 1,000 steps every day just going back to my car to get the mask I was supposed to put on."

'There you are - you know you're not supposed to be eating that!'

"Of course, ladies and gentlemen, the optimum endorsement would be from the Crips and the Bloods."

"No you don't young man....Those shoes cost me 4125.000, there's no way you're wearing them outdoors!"

Patent Office. A credit card chip embedded in sneakers? How would you make a purchase? Swipe your feet!

Can I help you? I need some sneakers. Sale. Okay. We've got ones for running, jogging, walking, basketball, tennis, pickleball, hiking, cross-training, golf, bowling, volleyball, squash, badminton, jumproping, racquetball, skateboarding, climbing. What activity best describes your needs? What do you think, Ernie? Was "ottomanning" a choice?

"Psst. . . fancy shoe sales are down. Can you make Crocs instead?"

'Millers said they travelled through Europe? Nonsense! All of their souvenirs have little tags reading 'Made in China'!'

'Top of the line sport shoes: They've improved my top speed by 0.5 kmh...'

'Would our taxes be any cheaper if we lived in a sketcher?'

'Something comfortable and yet… unexpected. I like to run amok.'