Shopaholic Humor Lover Gifts

'Did you enjoy yourself window shopping, dear?'

"My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she goes shopping. . ."

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

'How much would you take off for cash?'

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

"How much is the sign?"

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

'SALE! One Million Dollars Per Bike!!' by saying, 'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

'Maturity: the instant-degratification phase of life.'

Pirate trying on parrots.

If you don't see what you want, buy something you don't want!

'I can't tell you what I spent for reasons of national security.'

"Back here in 30 minutes?"

"Let's see now; rat's gizzard, bats wings, eye of newt....oh, yes. And cornflakes!"

Great moments in shopping

'We guarantee you won't get your money back.'

'It's you.'

"I'm not sure. Maybe it's my wife's butt size I'm thinking of!"

Fresh milk - Self service

"How much did you spend at Macy's this year?

Missing Person: Last seen shopping

Sign in the front window of a shop that reads "50% off all worthless merchandise".

The customer is always right, but that fact has no standing in law.

"Will this be cash or consumer debt?"

"Sir, would you mind coming with me?!"

I shopped in the Garden of Eden.

"It was an impulse purchase."

"You never buy anything I want."

no nonsense or ridiculous pantyhose.

'You've not been panic buying shoes again?'

Bed, Bath & Younder

Market items.