Shopaholic Humor Gifts

'I came home with $44.75, just enough to pay for dinner out.'

"Will this be cash or consumer debt?"

'Well, dear... you may be addicted to shopping when your dreams are getting interrupted by commercial spots...'

Pirate trying on parrots.

Please give up this seat to a boyfriend more bored than you are

'Does my overdraft look big in this?'

'The trouble is, my wife laughs all the way from the bank.'

'Apparently she spotted it in an antique shop and fell in love with it.'

Man in the bank at deposits queue: 'Could I please go ahead of you? My wife's on her way to the mall!'

"Money is tight right now, so I put everything I want to buy in a shopping cart, then just leave it and walk away. . . my shopping fiz is satisfied and I didn't spend any money!"

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

"What kind of bra are you looking for?"

"How much is the sign?"

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

'Maturity: the instant-degratification phase of life.'

'SALE! One Million Dollars Per Bike!!' by saying, 'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

Great moments in shopping

If you don't see what you want, buy something you don't want!

'I can't tell you what I spent for reasons of national security.'

"Back here in 30 minutes?"

"Let's see now; rat's gizzard, bats wings, eye of newt....oh, yes. And cornflakes!"

'It's you.'

'We guarantee you won't get your money back.'

"How much did you spend at Macy's this year?

Fresh milk - Self service

Missing Person: Last seen shopping

Sign in the front window of a shop that reads "50% off all worthless merchandise".

The customer is always right, but that fact has no standing in law.

'The store was out of light bulbs, so I got lite beer instead.'

I shopped in the Garden of Eden.

Market items.

no nonsense or ridiculous pantyhose.