Shopping Humor Gifts

'SALE! One Million Dollars Per Bike!!' by saying, 'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

Don't tell my wife. Dragon head.

Pirates at the mall.

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

"How much is the sign?"

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

Pirate trying on parrots.

Low income vampires.

If you don't see what you want, buy something you don't want!

Shop signs.

Great moments in shopping

"Let's see now; rat's gizzard, bats wings, eye of newt....oh, yes. And cornflakes!"

Self Checkout

"Footwear's upstairs, Sir"

"... And you said this was you and your husband's first time shopping at Costco?"

"So if I'm to understand you correctly, this 'engineered athletic footwear' with its 'extended torsion system' is also a sneaker?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe it's my wife's butt size I'm thinking of!"

Fresh milk - Self service

Toothpaste mental shutdown.

Do you think Santa will be making a stop at Tiffany & Company tonight, Lance? Sorry to disappoint you, Gloria, but I spotted Santa's sleigh in the parking lot of Kmart & Company earlier.

The customer is always right, but that fact has no standing in law.

Crap Nav

"You got hiking boot in 58?"

'He's been visiting IKEA with someone else.'

Woman walking past Five Guys.

'Well, it all tastes like the same old crap to me,'

"Unexpected Spanish Inquisition in bagging area ..."

"Will this be cash or consumer debt?"

'Some achieve fame. I've achieved a stack of catalogs full of sticky notes.'

Gross pig size!

I shopped in the Garden of Eden.

no nonsense or ridiculous pantyhose.