Shopping Humor Fan Gifts

Dysfunctional family size products

Bed, Bath & Younder

(Visual gag) FITTING ROOMS People having fits in special rooms

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

Pirates at the mall.

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

I e-bay t-shirt.

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

"How much is the sign?"

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

'Maturity: the instant-degratification phase of life.'

'SALE! One Million Dollars Per Bike!!' by saying, 'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

'Bag? Any vouchers? Like a packer? If you have two of those... What type of apples are these?'

Pirate trying on parrots.

"Back here in 30 minutes?"

"Let's see now; rat's gizzard, bats wings, eye of newt....oh, yes. And cornflakes!"

If you don't see what you want, buy something you don't want!

'I can't tell you what I spent for reasons of national security.'

Great moments in shopping

"Footwear's upstairs, Sir"

"So if I'm to understand you correctly, this 'engineered athletic footwear' with its 'extended torsion system' is also a sneaker?"

'It's you.'

"I'm not sure. Maybe it's my wife's butt size I'm thinking of!"

"Well,hopefully we only have to wear them for a week or two."

Fresh milk - Self service

'He's been visiting IKEA with someone else.'

Sign in the front window of a shop that reads "50% off all worthless merchandise".

Missing Person: Last seen shopping

'We're out of peanut butter.'

Toothpaste mental shutdown.