Shopping Humor Lovers Gifts

You've sold me two left shoes.

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

Don't tell my wife. Dragon head.

'How much would you take off for cash?'

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

"How much is the sign?"

'SALE! One Million Dollars Per Bike!!' by saying, 'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

'Bag? Any vouchers? Like a packer? If you have two of those... What type of apples are these?'

Pirate trying on parrots.

Shop signs.

I'm sorry sir, store rules. No 'Stairway to Heaven'.

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

If you don't see what you want, buy something you don't want!

"Let's see now; rat's gizzard, bats wings, eye of newt....oh, yes. And cornflakes!"

Great moments in shopping

'It's cheaper to replace the floor every month than to wash it and risk a customer slipping and then suing us.'

The 29p Shop

"I'm not sure. Maybe it's my wife's butt size I'm thinking of!"

Fresh milk - Self service

The customer is always right, but that fact has no standing in law.

"Will this be cash or consumer debt?"

Market items.

I shopped in the Garden of Eden.

no nonsense or ridiculous pantyhose.

Bed, Bath & Younder

'Sorry. In the time it took you to get out your credit card the price of smokes went up another 30 cents.'

Men's Clothing. Shirts. Sale. Yes, sir, one size does fit all, but it's not that size.

'Oh no, we forgot to lock the safe!' 'What's the problem, we're both here aren't we?'

"It's all business-to-business. We need some retail outlets."

'The store was out of light bulbs, so I got lite beer instead.'

Supermarkets

'This has been our most successful closing down sale ever.'

'We can travel across the universe with lightspeed but we will never be able to find shoes on the internet that fits our size.'

A new Walmart store will be built on this site.

Complaints and Excuses.