Shopping Humor Lovers Gifts

You've sold me two left shoes.

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'How much would you take off for cash?'

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

"How much is the sign?"

'SALE! One Million Dollars Per Bike!!' by saying, 'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

'Bag? Any vouchers? Like a packer? If you have two of those... What type of apples are these?'

Pirate trying on parrots.

If you don't see what you want, buy something you don't want!

I'm sorry sir, store rules. No 'Stairway to Heaven'.

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

Great moments in shopping

"Let's see now; rat's gizzard, bats wings, eye of newt....oh, yes. And cornflakes!"

'It's cheaper to replace the floor every month than to wash it and risk a customer slipping and then suing us.'

The 29p Shop

"I'm not sure. Maybe it's my wife's butt size I'm thinking of!"

Fresh milk - Self service

The customer is always right, but that fact has no standing in law.

"Will this be cash or consumer debt?"

'Sorry. In the time it took you to get out your credit card the price of smokes went up another 30 cents.'

'This has been our most successful closing down sale ever.'

'We can travel across the universe with lightspeed but we will never be able to find shoes on the internet that fits our size.'

"It's all business-to-business. We need some retail outlets."

'Oh no, we forgot to lock the safe!' 'What's the problem, we're both here aren't we?'

no nonsense or ridiculous pantyhose.

I shopped in the Garden of Eden.

Market items.

'The store was out of light bulbs, so I got lite beer instead.'

Supermarkets

Bed, Bath & Younder

Complaints and Excuses.

Dysfunctional family size products