Shopping Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"How much is the sign?"

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

Pirates at the mall.

'How much would you take off for cash?'

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

Man stands in front of rows of kangaroos next to a sign that reads "Final Clearance - Entire stock of kanagroos".

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

'SALE! One Million Dollars Per Bike!!' by saying, 'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

'Maturity: the instant-degratification phase of life.'

'Bag? Any vouchers? Like a packer? If you have two of those... What type of apples are these?'

Pirate trying on parrots.

Santa checking out sleigh beds.

If you don't see what you want, buy something you don't want!

"Back here in 30 minutes?"

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

'I can't tell you what I spent for reasons of national security.'

I'm sorry sir, store rules. No 'Stairway to Heaven'.

Great moments in shopping

"Let's see now; rat's gizzard, bats wings, eye of newt....oh, yes. And cornflakes!"

The 29p Shop

"So if I'm to understand you correctly, this 'engineered athletic footwear' with its 'extended torsion system' is also a sneaker?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe it's my wife's butt size I'm thinking of!"

'It's you.'

"Footwear's upstairs, Sir"

Fresh milk - Self service

Missing Person: Last seen shopping

Toothpaste mental shutdown.

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