Shopping Humor Lover Gifts

'This is ridiculous You should open another register,'

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

Don't tell my wife. Dragon head.

'How much would you take off for cash?'

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

"How much is the sign?"

Man stands in front of rows of kangaroos next to a sign that reads "Final Clearance - Entire stock of kanagroos".

'SALE! One Million Dollars Per Bike!!' by saying, 'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

'Maturity: the instant-degratification phase of life.'

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

Santa checking out sleigh beds.

'Bag? Any vouchers? Like a packer? If you have two of those... What type of apples are these?'

Pirate trying on parrots.

"Let's see now; rat's gizzard, bats wings, eye of newt....oh, yes. And cornflakes!"

'I can't tell you what I spent for reasons of national security.'

Shop signs.

Great moments in shopping

If you don't see what you want, buy something you don't want!

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

I'm sorry sir, store rules. No 'Stairway to Heaven'.

"Back here in 30 minutes?"

'It's cheaper to replace the floor every month than to wash it and risk a customer slipping and then suing us.'

"I'm not sure. Maybe it's my wife's butt size I'm thinking of!"

'It's you.'

Fresh milk - Self service

The customer is always right, but that fact has no standing in law.

Sign in the front window of a shop that reads "50% off all worthless merchandise".

Missing Person: Last seen shopping

"Will this be cash or consumer debt?"

Breakages must be paid for

"Sir, would you mind coming with me?!"

I shopped in the Garden of Eden.