Shopping Humor Lover Gifts

'This is ridiculous You should open another register,'

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

'How much would you take off for cash?'

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

"How much is the sign?"

'SALE! One Million Dollars Per Bike!!' by saying, 'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

Man stands in front of rows of kangaroos next to a sign that reads "Final Clearance - Entire stock of kanagroos".

'Maturity: the instant-degratification phase of life.'

'Bag? Any vouchers? Like a packer? If you have two of those... What type of apples are these?'

Pirate trying on parrots.

Santa checking out sleigh beds.

If you don't see what you want, buy something you don't want!

"Back here in 30 minutes?"

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

"Let's see now; rat's gizzard, bats wings, eye of newt....oh, yes. And cornflakes!"

Great moments in shopping

I'm sorry sir, store rules. No 'Stairway to Heaven'.

'I can't tell you what I spent for reasons of national security.'

'It's cheaper to replace the floor every month than to wash it and risk a customer slipping and then suing us.'

"I'm not sure. Maybe it's my wife's butt size I'm thinking of!"

'It's you.'

Fresh milk - Self service

Sign in the front window of a shop that reads "50% off all worthless merchandise".

Missing Person: Last seen shopping

The customer is always right, but that fact has no standing in law.

"Will this be cash or consumer debt?"

"Sir, would you mind coming with me?!"

Breakages must be paid for

"It was an impulse purchase."

'The store was out of light bulbs, so I got lite beer instead.'