Shopaholic Humor Pillows

'I came home with $44.75, just enough to pay for dinner out.'

"Will this be cash or consumer debt?"

'Well, dear... you may be addicted to shopping when your dreams are getting interrupted by commercial spots...'

Pirate trying on parrots.

Please give up this seat to a boyfriend more bored than you are

'Does my overdraft look big in this?'

'The trouble is, my wife laughs all the way from the bank.'

'Apparently she spotted it in an antique shop and fell in love with it.'

Man in the bank at deposits queue: 'Could I please go ahead of you? My wife's on her way to the mall!'

"Money is tight right now, so I put everything I want to buy in a shopping cart, then just leave it and walk away. . . my shopping fiz is satisfied and I didn't spend any money!"

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

Don't tell my wife. Dragon head.

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

"What kind of bra are you looking for?"

"How much is the sign?"

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

'Maturity: the instant-degratification phase of life.'

'SALE! One Million Dollars Per Bike!!' by saying, 'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

Shop signs.

If you don't see what you want, buy something you don't want!

"Let's see now; rat's gizzard, bats wings, eye of newt....oh, yes. And cornflakes!"

"Back here in 30 minutes?"

Great moments in shopping

'I can't tell you what I spent for reasons of national security.'

'It's you.'

'We guarantee you won't get your money back.'

Fresh milk - Self service

"How much did you spend at Macy's this year?

Missing Person: Last seen shopping

The customer is always right, but that fact has no standing in law.

Sign in the front window of a shop that reads "50% off all worthless merchandise".

"It was an impulse purchase."

"You never buy anything I want."