Shopaholic Satire Pillows

"How much did you spend at Macy's this year?

'Books by celebrities.'

'We guarantee you won't get your money back.'

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

They get into debt so fast these days...

Pirates at the mall.

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

Seven deadly sins shopping plaza

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

"How much is the sign?"

'Maturity: the instant-degratification phase of life.'

'SALE! One Million Dollars Per Bike!!' by saying, 'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

"So the only way to save the economy is to spend what we haven't got - plus ca change - moin ca change!"

'How do I know if it's seaworthy?'

"We've got an emergency out here, Doctor - a compulsive shopper with buyer's remorse!"

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

A sign outside the "Museum of Modern Gift Items" reads "T-shirts of the Masters Sale".

"We could go out to eat every night and cut our grocery bill to nothing."

'Bag? Any vouchers? Like a packer? If you have two of those... What type of apples are these?'

Pirate trying on parrots.

'That's the last time I send you shopping!'

'Derek knew that someone, somewhere must have designed a car with a shopping basket.'

'I can't tell you what I spent for reasons of national security.'

Great moments in shopping

"Let's see now; rat's gizzard, bats wings, eye of newt....oh, yes. And cornflakes!"

If you don't see what you want, buy something you don't want!

"Back here in 30 minutes?"

"If there are more than two people in front of you - we will open another superstore."

'It's you.'

Mail-Order Yard Sale

'When will you learn? You're only paying for the label!'