Shopping Satire Lover Pillows

'Bag? Any vouchers? Like a packer? If you have two of those... What type of apples are these?'

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

They get into debt so fast these days...

Pirates at the mall.

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

Seven deadly sins shopping plaza

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

"How much is the sign?"

A sign outside the "Museum of Modern Gift Items" reads "T-shirts of the Masters Sale".

Eye of Newt Helper

'How do I know if it's seaworthy?'

"So the only way to save the economy is to spend what we haven't got - plus ca change - moin ca change!"

"We could go out to eat every night and cut our grocery bill to nothing."

'That's the last time I send you shopping!'

Great moments in shopping

'Derek knew that someone, somewhere must have designed a car with a shopping basket.'

"Let's see now; rat's gizzard, bats wings, eye of newt....oh, yes. And cornflakes!"

'Darn it! The bar code doesn't seem to be working. . . flip him over and let's try the other side. . .'

'We guarantee you won't get your money back.'

"Footwear's upstairs, Sir"

Mail-Order Yard Sale

'When will you learn? You're only paying for the label!'

"If there are more than two people in front of you - we will open another superstore."

"So if I'm to understand you correctly, this 'engineered athletic footwear' with its 'extended torsion system' is also a sneaker?"

Poor Holiday Gift Choice...The Lucifer 2500, Talking GPS Device.

Financial Christmas

"Sometimes I like to browse the men's section just to screw with the patriarchy."

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

Holds leftovers, easy to carry... Gotta say, he almost had me. Right up to th 'Keeps food fresh' part. What a waste of a good idea.

"How much did you spend at Macy's this year?

Fresh milk - Self service

Mother Nature's Health Foods