Satirical Shoppers Pillows

"So the only way to save the economy is to spend what we haven't got - plus ca change - moin ca change!"

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

Pirates at the mall.

Don't tell my wife. Dragon head.

They get into debt so fast these days...

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

Seven deadly sins shopping plaza

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

Eye of Newt Helper

'SALE! One Million Dollars Per Bike!!' by saying, 'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

'How do I know if it's seaworthy?'

Med. Soc Sec. Can we agree on anything to reduce the deficit other than a bake sale?

A sign outside the "Museum of Modern Gift Items" reads "T-shirts of the Masters Sale".

"We could go out to eat every night and cut our grocery bill to nothing."

'That's the last time I send you shopping!'

'Bag? Any vouchers? Like a packer? If you have two of those... What type of apples are these?'

Great moments in shopping

"Let's see now; rat's gizzard, bats wings, eye of newt....oh, yes. And cornflakes!"

'Derek knew that someone, somewhere must have designed a car with a shopping basket.'

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

"So if I'm to understand you correctly, this 'engineered athletic footwear' with its 'extended torsion system' is also a sneaker?"

'We guarantee you won't get your money back.'

"Footwear's upstairs, Sir"

'When will you learn? You're only paying for the label!'

"If there are more than two people in front of you - we will open another superstore."

Mail-Order Yard Sale

Financial Christmas

"Sometimes I like to browse the men's section just to screw with the patriarchy."

Poor Holiday Gift Choice...The Lucifer 2500, Talking GPS Device.

Fresh milk - Self service

"How much did you spend at Macy's this year?

Holds leftovers, easy to carry... Gotta say, he almost had me. Right up to th 'Keeps food fresh' part. What a waste of a good idea.

Toothpaste mental shutdown.

Crap Nav