Shopaholic Satire Lover Gifts

'Muriel feels that a woman's place is in the home -- to rest up between trips to the mall.'

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

They get into debt so fast these days...

Pirates at the mall.

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

Seven deadly sins shopping plaza

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

"How much is the sign?"

'How do I know if it's seaworthy?'

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

"So the only way to save the economy is to spend what we haven't got - plus ca change - moin ca change!"

Med. Soc Sec. Can we agree on anything to reduce the deficit other than a bake sale?

'Maturity: the instant-degratification phase of life.'

"We've got an emergency out here, Doctor - a compulsive shopper with buyer's remorse!"

A sign outside the "Museum of Modern Gift Items" reads "T-shirts of the Masters Sale".

'Bag? Any vouchers? Like a packer? If you have two of those... What type of apples are these?'

Pirate trying on parrots.

'That's the last time I send you shopping!'

'I can't tell you what I spent for reasons of national security.'

If you don't see what you want, buy something you don't want!

"Back here in 30 minutes?"

Shop signs.

'Derek knew that someone, somewhere must have designed a car with a shopping basket.'

'Darn it! The bar code doesn't seem to be working. . . flip him over and let's try the other side. . .'

Poor Holiday Gift Choice...The Lucifer 2500, Talking GPS Device.

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

'It's you.'

"If there are more than two people in front of you - we will open another superstore."

'When will you learn? You're only paying for the label!'

"Sometimes I like to browse the men's section just to screw with the patriarchy."

"So if I'm to understand you correctly, this 'engineered athletic footwear' with its 'extended torsion system' is also a sneaker?"

'We guarantee you won't get your money back.'