Shopaholic Satire Seeker Gifts

"I take it from his demeanour that Sir would be requiring some cashback."

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

Pirates at the mall.

They get into debt so fast these days...

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

Seven deadly sins shopping plaza

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

Mothercare - " I'm going to shop till I drop."

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

"So the only way to save the economy is to spend what we haven't got - plus ca change - moin ca change!"

'How do I know if it's seaworthy?'

Med. Soc Sec. Can we agree on anything to reduce the deficit other than a bake sale?

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

'Maturity: the instant-degratification phase of life.'

Eye of Newt Helper

A sign outside the "Museum of Modern Gift Items" reads "T-shirts of the Masters Sale".

'Bag? Any vouchers? Like a packer? If you have two of those... What type of apples are these?'

Pirate trying on parrots.

"We could go out to eat every night and cut our grocery bill to nothing."

'That's the last time I send you shopping!'

'I can't tell you what I spent for reasons of national security.'

If you don't see what you want, buy something you don't want!

"Back here in 30 minutes?"

"Let's see now; rat's gizzard, bats wings, eye of newt....oh, yes. And cornflakes!"

Great moments in shopping

'Derek knew that someone, somewhere must have designed a car with a shopping basket.'

'Darn it! The bar code doesn't seem to be working. . . flip him over and let's try the other side. . .'

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

"If there are more than two people in front of you - we will open another superstore."

'When will you learn? You're only paying for the label!'

'It's you.'

"So if I'm to understand you correctly, this 'engineered athletic footwear' with its 'extended torsion system' is also a sneaker?"