Shopaholic Satire Seeker T-Shirts

"I take it from his demeanour that Sir would be requiring some cashback."

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

They get into debt so fast these days...

Pirates at the mall.

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

Seven deadly sins shopping plaza

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

Mothercare - " I'm going to shop till I drop."

A sign outside the "Museum of Modern Gift Items" reads "T-shirts of the Masters Sale".

'How do I know if it's seaworthy?'

Eye of Newt Helper

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

'Maturity: the instant-degratification phase of life.'

"So the only way to save the economy is to spend what we haven't got - plus ca change - moin ca change!"

'Bag? Any vouchers? Like a packer? If you have two of those... What type of apples are these?'

Pirate trying on parrots.

'That's the last time I send you shopping!'

"We could go out to eat every night and cut our grocery bill to nothing."

"Let's see now; rat's gizzard, bats wings, eye of newt....oh, yes. And cornflakes!"

Great moments in shopping

'Derek knew that someone, somewhere must have designed a car with a shopping basket.'

If you don't see what you want, buy something you don't want!

'I can't tell you what I spent for reasons of national security.'

"Back here in 30 minutes?"

'Darn it! The bar code doesn't seem to be working. . . flip him over and let's try the other side. . .'

'When will you learn? You're only paying for the label!'

"If there are more than two people in front of you - we will open another superstore."

"So if I'm to understand you correctly, this 'engineered athletic footwear' with its 'extended torsion system' is also a sneaker?"

'It's you.'

Poor Holiday Gift Choice...The Lucifer 2500, Talking GPS Device.

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."