Shell Polisher Gifts

Tortoise polishing his shell

'It must be the dead sea.'

'It's true what they say, you really can hear the sea in these things!'

Try me/try me/try me...

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

I can hear a podcast of yesterday's sea.

If you hold the conch up to your ear, you can hear the ocean swearing at you.

The Stripper

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

Feeling for shells

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

'Of course you can hear the ocean,we're standing next to it.'

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

"I can hear the sea boiling."

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"I can work for twelve straight hours without needing to be recharged."

'Yes, I have an MBA, A Mistress of Business Administration.'

"You're right, Pierre, they are licking their plates."

'Hows it coming?'

"That's his answer to everything!"

"This is it? No video?"

Bald man polishing head

1930's bather.

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

'OK, so you've considered a whale and never committed. How about adoping a shell?'

Snail Love.

For Sale By Owner

There it is – my dream beach house.

"One of my strengths as an employee is my ability to multitask."

"I don't get it, everyone talks about 'Working from Home' as if it's something new."

"I don't recommend extending into the basement."

Tonight he would be a hermit no more.

'You have ear wax.'

"I come from a musical family."