Popemobile Polisher Gifts

Just a regular Sunday afternoon,

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

"Scotch and water musick."

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

Tortoise polishing his shell

"I can work for twelve straight hours without needing to be recharged."

'Yes, I have an MBA, A Mistress of Business Administration.'

"You're right, Pierre, they are licking their plates."

'Hows it coming?'

Bald man polishing head

"One of my strengths as an employee is my ability to multitask."

"...I'm available for interview, at your convenience!"

Think I'll be a more effective alpha male if I learn to play pool? That's on of those things you always see an alpha male do: stand around a pool hall polishing his stick and racking up the balls.

"Just when did you leave your last job?"

'No, it's not a spit polish. I just really hate your shoes.'

"This coin must be 2,000 years old. Try not to put this one in a pop machine."

'Great draft. It just needs a little exfoliation.'

'D-plus? -- I demand a recount!'

Online Dating

"See that yard with the garden gnomes and the idiot waxing his Nissan Cube? That's your bathroom."

'I'm sorry, Mr. Pringle, you failed the acid test. We won't be hiring you.'

'You're exactly the kind of person we'd like to hire - to be replaced by a computer.'

Boot Camp. Barracks 18. This fluid is specially formulated to remove old polish from combat boots. Ah, a military solution!

"It's the big guy."

'A f-funny thing happened on the way past a classic car dealer...'

'Careful, I went absolutely mad and polished everything.'

Rudolph the brown-nose reindeer.

'OK Headmaster, now polish the other shoe...'

Oxy clean.

'I'm afraid we don't have anything for you right now, but if we get really depserate for people we'll be in touch.'

"It's Pope Francis. He wants to know how we are."

Pope Mobile

"Suddenly, Jake realized he and his Mandolin had stumbled into a Ukulele pub."