Plate Polisher Gifts

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"You're right, Pierre, they are licking their plates."

The wonderful world of cheese.

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

Pasta

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

Tortoise polishing his shell

"I can work for twelve straight hours without needing to be recharged."

'Hows it coming?'

'Yes, I have an MBA, A Mistress of Business Administration.'

"How's my wife doing in the discus tryouts? I can tell you that, at home, she's hell on wheels with saucers and plates."

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

"Still workin' on that, sir?"

"One of my strengths as an employee is my ability to multitask."

Bald man polishing head

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

'No, it's not a spit polish. I just really hate your shoes.'

"...I'm available for interview, at your convenience!"

"Just when did you leave your last job?"

'Great draft. It just needs a little exfoliation.'

'Dad's teaching me about the all-you-can-eat buffet line and how to get the most out of each trip.'

Online Dating

'I'm sorry, Mr. Pringle, you failed the acid test. We won't be hiring you.'

'D-plus? -- I demand a recount!'

"If you two are through with your braised sirloin tips, I'll just go ahead and clear the table."

'You're exactly the kind of person we'd like to hire - to be replaced by a computer.'

Just a regular Sunday afternoon,

'A f-funny thing happened on the way past a classic car dealer...'

'Careful, I went absolutely mad and polished everything.'

'See, didn't I tell you that my Mom is a great cook!'

'OH MY GOSH...IT'S A MIRACLE!!!' he's actually clearing his plate!'

Oxy clean.

'Book me a Greek holiday - I want to break plates!'

Sunny side up eggs