Stick Polisher Extraordinaire Gifts

Think I'll be a more effective alpha male if I learn to play pool? That's on of those things you always see an alpha male do: stand around a pool hall polishing his stick and racking up the balls.

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

"It's exhausting trying to keep him from throwing away perfectly good sticks."

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

Tortoise polishing his shell

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

"I can work for twelve straight hours without needing to be recharged."

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"Honestly, I prefer stick."

Man throwing stick for dog

'Hows it coming?'

Houston gets serious about cleaning up space junk

'Yes, I have an MBA, A Mistress of Business Administration.'

"You're right, Pierre, they are licking their plates."

Bald man polishing head

"One of my strengths as an employee is my ability to multitask."

'No, it's not a spit polish. I just really hate your shoes.'

'Assuming moral absolutes - good dog.'

"Just when did you leave your last job?"

"...I'm available for interview, at your convenience!"

'Great draft. It just needs a little exfoliation.'

'I'm sorry, Mr. Pringle, you failed the acid test. We won't be hiring you.'

I love hockey!

'D-plus? -- I demand a recount!'

Online Dating

'You're exactly the kind of person we'd like to hire - to be replaced by a computer.'

Main St Ottowa

Boot Camp. Barracks 18. This fluid is specially formulated to remove old polish from combat boots. Ah, a military solution!

'A f-funny thing happened on the way past a classic car dealer...'

Just a regular Sunday afternoon,

'Careful, I went absolutely mad and polished everything.'

Church sign states congregation can't decide on carpet color.

"You never even complimented me on my nice polished floor."

Rudolph the brown-nose reindeer.

Oxy clean.