Chrome Polisher Gifts

'A f-funny thing happened on the way past a classic car dealer...'

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

Tortoise polishing his shell

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"I can work for twelve straight hours without needing to be recharged."

'Yes, I have an MBA, A Mistress of Business Administration.'

"You're right, Pierre, they are licking their plates."

'Hows it coming?'

Bald man polishing head

"One of my strengths as an employee is my ability to multitask."

"...I'm available for interview, at your convenience!"

"Just when did you leave your last job?"

'No, it's not a spit polish. I just really hate your shoes.'

Rider's Block: Well I'll be. I've completely forgotten how to start this thing.

'Great draft. It just needs a little exfoliation.'

'D-plus? -- I demand a recount!'

Online Dating

'I'm sorry, Mr. Pringle, you failed the acid test. We won't be hiring you.'

"If you two are through with your braised sirloin tips, I'll just go ahead and clear the table."

'You're exactly the kind of person we'd like to hire - to be replaced by a computer.'

Just a regular Sunday afternoon,

'Careful, I went absolutely mad and polished everything.'

Rudolph the brown-nose reindeer.

This one looks as if it's survived the chrome age.

"The online part of the interview was yesterday."

Mrs. Big Foot

Oxy clean.

'I'm afraid we don't have anything for you right now, but if we get really depserate for people we'll be in touch.'

Monkey on a motorbike.

'Then...just as they ran out of petrol, Hansel and Gretel saw a gleaming house made entirely from fully chromed motorcycle components!'