Shell-strippers Gifts

The Stripper

'It must be the dead sea.'

'It's true what they say, you really can hear the sea in these things!'

Try me/try me/try me...

I can hear a podcast of yesterday's sea.

If you hold the conch up to your ear, you can hear the ocean swearing at you.

Feeling for shells

'I hear she melts glass ceilings.'

Tortoise polishing his shell

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

"I can hear the sea boiling."

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

'Of course you can hear the ocean,we're standing next to it.'

Good stripper cop / Bad stripper cop

"I've downsized."

"Do you mind?"

"That's his answer to everything!"

"This is it? No video?"

"Alright, I'll talk. Just please, stop with the good-cop, ab-cop routine."

'OK, so you've considered a whale and never committed. How about adoping a shell?'

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

For Sale By Owner

There it is – my dream beach house.

Ladies, welcome to Palais des Beefcakes. Please observe our rules. NO making lewd propositions to our performers and absolutely no touching. No touching. Let's me and you honeymoon.

Randy – you're a male stripper! Senor Stud, ma'am. Don't be a dope. I know it's you. You have me confused with someone else. So this is how you make your money. Does Rudy know? Rudy? I do find the dumb act very sexy. Senor Stud is a Ph.D. In love.

Snail Love.

"Isn't that your ex wife?"

1930's bather.

'Say! You're new here aren't you?'

"I don't get it, everyone talks about 'Working from Home' as if it's something new."

"I come from a musical family."

Tonight he would be a hermit no more.

It's so cute when she dresses up in your old shells.