Shell Polisher T-Shirts

Tortoise polishing his shell

'It must be the dead sea.'

'It's true what they say, you really can hear the sea in these things!'

Try me/try me/try me...

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

I can hear a podcast of yesterday's sea.

The Stripper

Feeling for shells

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

"I can work for twelve straight hours without needing to be recharged."

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

'Of course you can hear the ocean,we're standing next to it.'

"I can hear the sea boiling."

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"That's his answer to everything!"

'Hows it coming?'

'Yes, I have an MBA, A Mistress of Business Administration.'

"You're right, Pierre, they are licking their plates."

"This is it? No video?"

For Sale By Owner

Bald man polishing head

1930's bather.

Snail Love.

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

'OK, so you've considered a whale and never committed. How about adoping a shell?'

"One of my strengths as an employee is my ability to multitask."

"I don't get it, everyone talks about 'Working from Home' as if it's something new."

"My pappy built this shell with his bare claws. I'll be damned if some freeloader moves in."

Tonight he would be a hermit no more.

"I don't recommend extending into the basement."

"I come from a musical family."

"Just when did you leave your last job?"