Head Polisher Extraordinaire T-Shirts

Bald man polishing head

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

Tortoise polishing his shell

"I can work for twelve straight hours without needing to be recharged."

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

'Allow me. After all, I'm planning to be an electrician.'

'Yes, I have an MBA, A Mistress of Business Administration.'

'Hows it coming?'

"You're right, Pierre, they are licking their plates."

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

"One of my strengths as an employee is my ability to multitask."

"Now you can send it."

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

"...I'm available for interview, at your convenience!"

"Just when did you leave your last job?"

'No, it's not a spit polish. I just really hate your shoes.'

Mount Everest.

'Great draft. It just needs a little exfoliation.'

'D-plus? -- I demand a recount!'

Online Dating

'Dad's teaching me about the all-you-can-eat buffet line and how to get the most out of each trip.'

'I'm sorry, Mr. Pringle, you failed the acid test. We won't be hiring you.'

'You're exactly the kind of person we'd like to hire - to be replaced by a computer.'

'It's our last resort.'

'A f-funny thing happened on the way past a classic car dealer...'

Just a regular Sunday afternoon,

'Careful, I went absolutely mad and polished everything.'

Church sign states congregation can't decide on carpet color.

"I can't believe you! You say you can take a perfectly nice car, add tinted windows, fancy wheels, a spoilers...and turn it totally guy? Not that, you know, there's anything wrong with that."

'Ah - you must be the Polish plumber.'

"The online part of the interview was yesterday."

Oxy clean.