Head Polisher Extraordinaire T-Shirts

Bald man polishing head

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

Tortoise polishing his shell

"I can work for twelve straight hours without needing to be recharged."

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

'Allow me. After all, I'm planning to be an electrician.'

'Hows it coming?'

'Yes, I have an MBA, A Mistress of Business Administration.'

"You're right, Pierre, they are licking their plates."

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

"One of my strengths as an employee is my ability to multitask."

"Now you can send it."

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

"...I'm available for interview, at your convenience!"

"Just when did you leave your last job?"

'No, it's not a spit polish. I just really hate your shoes.'

Think I'll be a more effective alpha male if I learn to play pool? That's on of those things you always see an alpha male do: stand around a pool hall polishing his stick and racking up the balls.

Mount Everest.

'Great draft. It just needs a little exfoliation.'

'D-plus? -- I demand a recount!'

'Dad's teaching me about the all-you-can-eat buffet line and how to get the most out of each trip.'

'I'm sorry, Mr. Pringle, you failed the acid test. We won't be hiring you.'

Online Dating

'You're exactly the kind of person we'd like to hire - to be replaced by a computer.'

Just a regular Sunday afternoon,

Boot Camp. Barracks 18. This fluid is specially formulated to remove old polish from combat boots. Ah, a military solution!

'It's our last resort.'

'A f-funny thing happened on the way past a classic car dealer...'

'Careful, I went absolutely mad and polished everything.'

Church sign states congregation can't decide on carpet color.

"I can't believe you! You say you can take a perfectly nice car, add tinted windows, fancy wheels, a spoilers...and turn it totally guy? Not that, you know, there's anything wrong with that."

'Ah - you must be the Polish plumber.'

"The online part of the interview was yesterday."