Livestock Polisher T-Shirts

Oxy clean.

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

Sick Rancher Humor

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

Tortoise polishing his shell

The Cattle show Week.

"I can work for twelve straight hours without needing to be recharged."

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

'For the last time, Megan, she won a blue ribbon at the Imperial Valley Fair... I mean, my hands are tied here.'

'Hows it coming?'

'Yes, I have an MBA, A Mistress of Business Administration.'

"You're right, Pierre, they are licking their plates."

'Pork bellies are up...'

(Omi God! Pigs in a blanket!)

"Daisy, Daisy, I've seen the farmer filling in the forms: We're going to the Agricultural Show!"

Bald man polishing head

"One of my strengths as an employee is my ability to multitask."

'No, it's not a spit polish. I just really hate your shoes.'

"Holy cow! This is bourbon!" "My husband is from Kentucky."

Quick! To the Other Side of the Field.

“They look like last year’s models.”

"...I'm available for interview, at your convenience!"

"Just when did you leave your last job?"

'Great draft. It just needs a little exfoliation.'

'D-plus? -- I demand a recount!'

"I'm here about the found poster."

Online Dating

Herd of Holsteins and a herd of hairstylists

'I'm sorry, Mr. Pringle, you failed the acid test. We won't be hiring you.'

'You're exactly the kind of person we'd like to hire - to be replaced by a computer.'

Just a regular Sunday afternoon,

Texas longhorn sees wind turbine that resembles its long horns

When Farmers Tip...

'I KNOW this is insect repellent and not after-shave lotion.'