Apple Polisher T-Shirts

'D-plus? -- I demand a recount!'

Intelligent people laugh too!

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

"Apple harvest."

"We need to find another fall activity to do with the kids."

'I don't think re-living your childhood means you can go apple scrumping in next doors garden.'

Apple section of supermarket - 'Granny Smith's'.

"I'm doing all I can to make the little things count."

"I can work for twelve straight hours without needing to be recharged."

Tortoise polishing his shell

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

The Soundness of Newton's Laws

Newton discovers anti-gravity,

Empty Nester Apple Picking - "Not THAT one, you idiot!"

People of the Fall

Friends often dropped by and subjected Sir Isaac to a little good-natured ridicule.

Adam and Eve in Paradise

"You're right, Pierre, they are licking their plates."

"This gives me a remarkable idea - tempered only by the realization that Archimedes, discovered the principle of specific gravity 200 years ago."

Flava Superba

Johnson was ready to lick some ass

"What the... an apple?! Hey, I can make schnapps out of it and if you've had plenty of it, gravity pulls you to the ground!"

'Yes, I have an MBA, A Mistress of Business Administration.'

"I'm getting awfully tired of raking up you underwear..."

"One of my strengths as an employee is my ability to multitask."

Isaac Newton discovered gravity and his neighbour Wilbus discovered Apple Sauce.

Bald man polishing head

Picked On

'Forget about it. What's to say that Frobisher's apples are any better than the hedge fund he used to run?'

Orchards