School Performance Gifts

'Daddy Daddy, guess what: I'll play the Unicorn in the school play!'

'Oh, Christ.'

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

"First let me say that your father and I really, really wanted to like your performance."

"Mom, I flunked cursive writing, but I know where to find the font."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"Just be yourself."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'They all want to play the star.'

Snowprov

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

'Mom, Dad! Look what I created in lab today!'

'We like your zip-a-dee. You need to work on your dooh-dah.'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

"I'm the only sane artist in the world."

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

Primitive magician

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

'He's maturing early.'

I'm not making enough money to like you.

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

"Listen Herb, once you become the boss and decide who gets a raise, then you can have a raise."

Dog fetching clown shoes.

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'

"I can't sit down. Don't you remember? I worked my butt off for you."

'I wrote a software program and sold it for two million dollars.'

Orchestra conductor

Sales - "Any other suggestion besides getting a bigger chart?"

'Ask yourself, 'What is it I'm not doing?', and then ask yourself, 'What is it I'm doing too much?'.'

Targets.

'It appears you've done a wonderful job...of not getting fired.'

Trilby - 'Bonjour, Suzon!'