School Performance Pillows

'Daddy Daddy, guess what: I'll play the Unicorn in the school play!'

Are your parents here? Spring play! I can't tell.

'Oh, Christ.'

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

"First let me say that your father and I really, really wanted to like your performance."

"Mom, I flunked cursive writing, but I know where to find the font."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Just be yourself."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'They all want to play the star.'

'Mom, Dad! Look what I created in lab today!'

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

Snowprov

'We like your zip-a-dee. You need to work on your dooh-dah.'

"I'm the only sane artist in the world."

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

'He's maturing early.'

"I, TikTok."

I'm not making enough money to like you.

Primitive magician

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

Dog fetching clown shoes.

"Listen Herb, once you become the boss and decide who gets a raise, then you can have a raise."

Come on! They're posting the spring musical. I can't wait! I want a romantic part! With and elegant gown. Good luck with that! We're doing "Cats."

Do you have to play air guitar every time we sing?

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'

"I can't sit down. Don't you remember? I worked my butt off for you."

Orchestra conductor

Sales - "Any other suggestion besides getting a bigger chart?"