School Achievements Gifts

'Explain to us, son, how gaining nine A levels is uncool and damages your street cred.'

"Dad, I know that you are an atheist, but now do you believe in miracles?"

'If you ever need any help with your bookkeeping, I got an A in arithmetic!'

My child was student of the month...But that was a long time ago.

Two cars are side by side with bragging bumper stickers.

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

"Sign my yearbook?"

'Mom, Dad! Look what I created in lab today!'

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

Yearbook

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

"How was work?"

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

"I lettered in spelling."

'I wrote a software program and sold it for two million dollars.'

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

"I got an 'A' for my anti-gravity science project!"

"He's my school project for science class."

Science Fair Judgements

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

Presentation: Any questions?

Annual Mensa Convention: 'Ok, who's the genius who forgot to send out the invitations?'

It's a letter from Tim. He claims his grades are improving and he might even make the DEEN's list.

"My mom's getting me a tutor. That's kind of a personal trainer for the brain."

"Gracie, I'm so proud that you made the academic decathlon team! Here...have some of my special green tea! Ithelps you concentrate and improves your memory!"

"They called me Dumbo. A memoir of redemption."

'F.G.G. First Grade Graduate.'

"I got the highest grade in the class, except the giraffe."

'I'm not experienced, but I have a PhD in Byzantine history.'

'Boasting bumper stickers.'

Proud Mum.

"Is this going to be on the midterm?"

John von Neumann, after completing his book. 'Theory of Self-Replicating Automata'.