Scholastic Achievement Gifts

"Finally! Summer is here! That means we're one year closer to college!"

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

'Mom, Dad! Look what I created in lab today!'

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

'What's play?'

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

U of Debt

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

Exam

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

How come rich kids do so well on SAT tests? Their parents give them books, fancy trips, lessons and

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"How was work?"

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

His Master's Thesis.

Congratulations! All that cramming paid off.

"I lettered in spelling."

GCSEs

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

Super Student