School Achievement Gifts

'So, for every day that your math grade stays below a B, your father will post a video of himself on YouTube.'

Parrot School Report - "Poor attendance record, always sick....well done son."

'It's a discipline note form my teacher. I solved the math problems in my head and I was supposed to use a calculator.'

'I wrote a software program and sold it for two million dollars.'

"We're proud that Jeremy is a budding artist. He got 'A' in a class for downloading clip art."

"Can I buy a vowel?"

'So what is the consulting that you got an 'A' for?'

"I got the highest grade in the class, except the giraffe."

"He's my school project for science class."

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

'Mom, Dad! Look what I created in lab today!'

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

"How was work?"

"I lettered in spelling."

GCSEs

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

"One day, I'll be the first woman!"

"Where are redactions when you need them?"

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

Achiever: An illustration of how many thoughts she can have in a split second, while still listening to him.

"I got an 'A' for my anti-gravity science project!"

Science Fair Judgements

Presentation: Any questions?

Annual Mensa Convention: 'Ok, who's the genius who forgot to send out the invitations?'

Your granddaughter is studying for SATs. Oh really? Ahem! What did you get on your practice tests? Drool.

Are your parents here? Spring play! I can't tell.

'I had no idea there would be a test.'

First Prize!

It's a letter from Tim. He claims his grades are improving and he might even make the DEEN's list.