Child's School Achievement Gifts

"Hello, dear. Come see what Junior learned in school today."

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

'Mom, Dad! Look what I created in lab today!'

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

"How was work?"

"I lettered in spelling."

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

'I wrote a software program and sold it for two million dollars.'

"I got an 'A' for my anti-gravity science project!"

Science Fair Judgements

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

"He's my school project for science class."

Presentation: Any questions?

It's a letter from Tim. He claims his grades are improving and he might even make the DEEN's list.

Annual Mensa Convention: 'Ok, who's the genius who forgot to send out the invitations?'

"My mom's getting me a tutor. That's kind of a personal trainer for the brain."

"They called me Dumbo. A memoir of redemption."

'Oh, Christ.'

"I see you got an A+++ in science."

'F.G.G. First Grade Graduate.'

Private School Interview - 'How much do your parents weigh?'

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

"I got the highest grade in the class, except the giraffe."

'I'm not experienced, but I have a PhD in Byzantine history.'

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

"First let me say that your father and I really, really wanted to like your performance."

"I got an A+ on my math test! I'm updating my resume."

'I bronzed his first pair of running shoes.'

'Boasting bumper stickers.'

'So what is the consulting that you got an 'A' for?'

"Is this going to be on the midterm?"