Salad Society Satirists Gifts

There are only two types of people in the world. Those who are built for salad and those who are not.

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

"We're going to build in Rhinebeck, once Steven finds the right brick."

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

Bumper Stickers on a Cowboy's Horse

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

"Remember, we're not just making money. We're building prisons."

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

Pizzas

'It's great that you made your own salad, dear, but those aren't croutons, they're dog kibbles.'

Planet of the Ants

"This is my 'country house.' I also have a duplex in the city."

"I want proof that I even need that much iron before I go eating all that spinach."

Middle Age - The Magazine For You - Yeah, You!

Farmed Salmon Restaurant - Everyone squashed together.

"I thanked my teacher for teaching us so well and she fainted."

State Insurance Office Covering School Shootings

'What! No garnish or side salad?'

"The floor is now open for discussion of what to name ou generation."

'Shall we join the ladies?'

"I gave him a public education Artie ol' boy. . . you should know by now that government schools are one of my best minion corporations!"

Bullfighting might be more widely accepted if it had a different name. They should call it "dodgebull"! (Published originally on April 27, 2015.)

"It's got lettuce and pickle...why can't we call it a salad."

Please be gentle, waiter. This is my first salad. I'm sorry, sir, but there's a reason they call it "roughage."

Glass/Cans/Geriatrics.

'A pint! Have you got any ID?'

Edith Wharton

"Would it help if I ate a salad?"