Society Satirist Gifts

Middle Age - The Magazine For You - Yeah, You!

"Just once I'd like to be accepted for who I'm not."

"Do you have something more like Alex the Architect?"

Glass/Cans/Geriatrics.

"Before proceeding, Gertrude will read the minutes of the last Thanksgiving."

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

Edith Wharton

"I was a late bloomer—I didn't inherit my money until my fifties."

Homeless drifter wants his identity stolen.

"I thanked my teacher for teaching us so well and she fainted."

'A pint! Have you got any ID?'

The Biddy Shop - Senior citizens in shop window.

'We're not called young offenders social workers any more. I'm a scum whisperer.'

Dirty careers.

'You're too perfect, Lester - you're NOTHING to gossip about!'

'Y' know what fascinates me, Susan, is that we're the end product of two and a half million years of evolution.'

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

Rebellious guy dreams of becoming a regular guy.

Missionary Society: Gone for Good

'I keep finding myself having to earn more just to stand still...'

'Shall we join the ladies?'

'My mother thinks I'm beautiful. I'd like a second opinion.'

'Darling, I don't think that you're qualified to go in there.'

Motorway of Life: Gender-Specific Exits

"Sorry guys we're shutting it down. Animal research just isn't PC any longer."

"It's an apathy awareness ribbon."

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

"Valentine's Day is just another example of the chauvinism of a patriarchal society dominated by MEN! It's STAGGERING that MEN think a card and gift makes amends for 364 days of trivialising and PATRONISING us. You can SHOVE your card!"

Don Pasquale sitting

Self-Checkout

Pizzas

"Remember, we're not just making money. We're building prisons."

"I tried a slice of pizza yesterday, and frankly I don't get it."

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

"As usual, Dominique, everything was absolutely business class."