Social Satirist Gifts

Man can't reach to light huge cigar.

"He's a curmudgeon now, but he used to be just a mean old bastard."

"It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds."

"Bob was raised in the wilderness by salmon."

"Good news-I hear the paradigm is shifting."

'Isn't it amazing just how quickly an 'us' and 'them' scenario develops?'

'I see that you're a fully integrated immigrant to this country.'

Cloning Department - "Hi Rodney - I think you know everyone."

Smoking Cessation Clinic - Formerly The Pub.

"Oh, no! I can still see the Jensons."

Wine tasters...

"OK, I admit it. I smoke, drink and eat too much, don't exercise enough ..."

"What to wear?"

Different lanes for 'old money' and 'new money' in a Financial District.

"Somehow I thought it would be different up here."

'Thank you for your enquiry. This is an automated response...'

'You'll never catch a member of my family on drugs!'

Grown up conversation about immigration...

"The Crandalls wish us a Merry Christmas, and add that they're now worth over two million."

"Sorry, I can't remember your name, but your mask is familiar!"

''Live simply so that others may simply live?' Cute, but what's my motivation?'

Inhospitality tent.

Business Lunch (everybody talking on their mobile phones).

10% of all donations go to the Bill & Melinda Gates foundation.

"What part of Canada that I know nothing about are you from?"

Clancy: All the world's a stage....

Making new friends in the age of self-isolation

Hierarchy In The Junk Drawer

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

'PARTNER' Do you say PARTNER or BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND?

'Brian hated his long legs and dinner parties'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

'The one on the left is a beverage analyst for Huff & Swoon, and the one on the right is a drunk; or is it the other way around?'

"We have to go now. Robert's façade is beginning to crumble."

"If we go next door there's a 'bobby on the beat'."