Socialite Satirist Gifts

"I'd like you both to meet Samantha Hogue. Samantha has been terribly busy trying to chase the Chinese out of Tibet."

"She's gotten really arrogant now that she has a stalker."

"Saint Bartholomew's Home for Trust Fund Brats"

I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.

The prying mantis,

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"Yes, one is a dog."

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

Horse statue throws off rider.

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

"I'm after the history section."

Inhospitality tent.

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

"These 'ordinary working class' types, I think my scout at Oxford must have been one."

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

"God help us, it's that guy."

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds."

Illustration on the problem of money that is given to charities ending up in the hands of governments.

"All the better to ignore you with."

" ... and this is my wife - I'm legally obligated to tell you that."

'Oh no! The sharp elbowed middle class!'

"Sometimes I have this awful feeling I'm really a West Side Person."

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

'I'm Anna Nicole Smith. But not THE Anna Nicole Smith!'

"Remember, we're not just making money. We're building prisons."

During the Holiday season, Mr. Arthur Jeffries takes a little time to think of those who are less fortunate.

Wine tasters...

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'