Satirical Socialite Gifts

"Come on, smile, it's for our food blog..."

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"Yes, one is a dog."

The prying mantis,

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

Horse statue throws off rider.

Children's Party

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

"I'm after the history section."

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

Inhospitality tent.

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

"God help us, it's that guy."

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

"These 'ordinary working class' types, I think my scout at Oxford must have been one."

"It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds."

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

Illustration on the problem of money that is given to charities ending up in the hands of governments.

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"All the better to ignore you with."

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

"Sometimes I have this awful feeling I'm really a West Side Person."

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

"Brian's considering the optics."