Satirical Socialite Gifts

"Come on, smile, it's for our food blog..."

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"Yes, one is a dog."

The prying mantis,

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

Horse statue throws off rider.

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Children's Party

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

"I'm after the history section."

Inhospitality tent.

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

"God help us, it's that guy."

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

"These 'ordinary working class' types, I think my scout at Oxford must have been one."

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

"It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds."

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

Illustration on the problem of money that is given to charities ending up in the hands of governments.

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"Sometimes I have this awful feeling I'm really a West Side Person."

"Brian's considering the optics."

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

"All the better to ignore you with."