Society Socialite Gifts

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"Welcome, comadres, to this first meeting of the Very Wise Latina League!"

OPTIMISTS' CLUB, 'They said they never expected ME to show up.'

'Don't bother Daddy — he just got blackballed from the Hanseatic League.'

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"So, what do you do for play?"

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Children's Party

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

"Even my chauffeur has a chauffeur."

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

'Look at him with another business model on his arm.'

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

A day at the races

"Brian's considering the optics."

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

Today's Buzz word...

"Loved our evening, Lou. Thanks for being rich."

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

"Imogene is just back from an extended trip through the Navajo country."

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

"I never expected to collide into you!"