Senior Socialite Gifts

"Dude has got his s**t together!"

'My social life has really picked up lately, with all these health clinic visits.'

Over 60's night - "You have beautiful teeth. What do you soak them in?"

Senior Conversation Staters

"My son took away my license." "Too many hit and runs." "Too many birthdays?"

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Look at those drunken losers, that'll be us in twenty years."

"I'm enjoying retirement, except for the spending more time with my family part."

"I took a viagra before going to the senior citizen's dance, last night, and I couldn't get anyone to come to my place. So there I stood, all dressed up and no place to go!"

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

Children's Party

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Church Basement Foodie

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"Even my chauffeur has a chauffeur."

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

'Look at him with another business model on his arm.'

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

"Brian's considering the optics."

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

A day at the races

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

Today's Buzz word...

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"Imogene is just back from an extended trip through the Navajo country."

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'