New York Socialite Gifts

"There's a notice from the co-op board. Would we be interested in playing softball on the Great Lawn?"

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"Even my chauffeur has a chauffeur."

"I didn't even know Smallville had a set!"

"Imogene is just back from an extended trip through the Navajo country."

"I keep telling her she should do something with her stupid little online pieces."

Come on, honey. The neighborhood potlucks are fun. Fun?! Everyone brings something simple. Totally stress-free. Ha! Last year you made lemon-stuffed slow roasted sea bass with guacamole cilantro chutney. I won't do that again! Guacamole is over. Avocado grapefruit coulis will work.

I never finished our book. Me neither. I was reading another one. Me too. Totally addictive. Then let's choose that one for next month. Great. Facebook works for me! It's bookmarked!

"At work, they call me benchmark."

'Hello! I don't believe I've bored you yet...'

'Quite frankly, I don't know how this sweet, gentle, multi-millionaire husband of yours puts up with it.'

'You look like a fun guy!'

'I don't care if the pot roast was a little dry, you had no business condemning poor Gloria to hell!'

'Oh great. The neighbors are worming their way into another BBQ.'

"Things have gotten bad here. There's talk of a war with another gated community."

'And this is Mario Batali. Of course, he's not the Mario Batali.'

"Welcome, comadres, to this first meeting of the Very Wise Latina League!"

Oh no! Here comes another lecture on the joys of loft living!

'His idea of bipartisan is going to two parties a night.'

How very Hampstead!

"What do you think our husbands talk about when they're down the pub?"

'Can Spot come out and play?'

"This martini in canonical."

"I shall never forget Roger."

"Come on, smile, it's for our food blog..."

"You're welcome to stay, but the household goes all nude after 9pm."

"Fun-sponge."

Bargoyles

'How very Fulham!'

'Don't bother Daddy — he just got blackballed from the Hanseatic League.'

"I'd ask you up, Richard, but my roommates and I have a pretty strict 'no-"Times"-twits-in-seersucker' policy."

". . . and so the wife says to me. . . Earl she said, you really have to stop talking to strangers."

"Mommy and Daddy and their friends are pretending they don't have horrible lives now."

'Please meet my dear wife, my very dear wife.'

Beggar playing for money, will stop for more money.