Social Satirists Gifts

'Let's face it, David - You started at the bottom and then went down-hill!'

'Drinking or passive drinking table ?'

"So what do you think about this coronavirus thing?"

"How's the weather? Sorry. I don't talk politics in bars."

Go-Fund-Me for Start-Up into Alcohol Research

"It's our third date, can we look at each other now?"

Will Not Post Video I'm Taking Of You - $10.00

'You're not in the top 1% now, pal. You're in the bottom 50%.'

'My client pleads not guilty, Your Honor, on the grounds that it's so hard to find decent role models these days.'

'I used to be in the rat race too, sir, but they caught me bribing a jockey.'

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"Oh, great—here comes my ex, try not to act so bald..."

'Why is it that nobody will invite us more than one time, dear?'

'My parents had the decency to die at the right age!'

Offshoring

'Louie Ferguson got a job last week -- you never know who's going to be next.'

I notice you haven't said one inappropriate thing during dinner, Lars. I'm sorry about that, Nancy. It's the herbal tea talking.

Planet of the Ants

Deafening slurping.

"This is my 'country house.' I also have a duplex in the city."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"You're fired."

Occu-Pie Mars

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

They're Not Just That Into It

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

Torturing the English Language

We Tenatively Oppose War on Strictly Procedural Grounds

Trump pardons

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

UK border controls relaxed.

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'