Salad Satirists Gifts

Afloat, only 20% of iceberg lettuce is visible.

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

Bumper Stickers on a Cowboy's Horse

Beef Stew.

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

"I want proof that I even need that much iron before I go eating all that spinach."

The real reason salad aids weight loss

Breakfast cereal in the Treasury.

'It's great that you made your own salad, dear, but those aren't croutons, they're dog kibbles.'

'People soup again?'

Farmed Salmon Restaurant - Everyone squashed together.

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

Hot Dog... Flavored meat-like substances

Please be gentle, waiter. This is my first salad. I'm sorry, sir, but there's a reason they call it "roughage."

'What! No garnish or side salad?'

"It's got lettuce and pickle...why can't we call it a salad."

The 60 Hour Gourmet Recipe For People Who Have Time To Spare And Then Some.

'The Cod's off, but you can have whale and chips.'

"It makes me feel sort of... guilty!"

'Trying to sell these things is like flogging a dead horse.'

"I used to be a foodie. Now I'm a fussy glutton."

Tomatoes in the form of Toes